My first contact with online addiction recovery material--Andrew from Row Boat and Marbles.com--raved about Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) so much that I wondered if he was getting paid by them. Now I can begin to see why he has such a high opinion of the program. Here are my top seven reasons why SA is so effective, inspiring, and generally rockadelic:
Their Definition of Sobriety and Attitude Towards Lust
The problem with some other programs is that their understanding of appropriate sexuality doesn't jive with the teachings of the Church. For example (as I understand it), SAA has a participant-created definition of sobriety, which could potentially make room for masturbation. I'm sure they have safeguards against defining their way out of ANY progress (like "I define sobriety as not looking at porn and masturbating at least one day a month."), but it bothers me that for them, lust isn't the main culprit. For SA, the only victory over the addiction is no sex with self or anyone other than the spouse, and progressive victory over lust. Maintaining sobriety and recovery, the main goal of the program, doesn't require any membership in any specific church or organization, though it serves members of the LDS faith as well as many others.
Their Emphasis on Honesty and Fellowship
The more I learn about addiction and the more I experience sobriety, the more I'm convinced that sustainable sobriety cannot happen by oneself. It's simply impossible. Full confession to another person (and I'm not talking about God through prayer) is absolutely mandatory for recovery. SA pushes hard for this kind of complete openness and honesty. Additionally, they encourage a group of recovered addicts to assist each other in overcoming the isolationist tendencies that most addicts struggle with so much. In fact, in my area after the main meeting, a group goes out to eat dinner together and get to know each other better.
Their Meeting Formats
At first I was annoyed by the way meetings have a relatively large portion of word-for-word introductory/conclusory material, though the church's Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) isn't any different. Still, I've come to see the wisdom in following consistent meeting structures. Even with this repetition, there are a number of different meeting types with the group I go to--New Member Meetings, where the time is spent sharing personal addiction histories; First Step Meetings, where a member shares their addiction story (to show how unmanageable and powerless their lives have become); and normal literature-reading meetings. Also, as much as I would love to ask questions of the group, I appreciate that there isn't any commentary on others' shares--aka "No cross talk please." That said, there are some very open and personal sharing, where people bear their souls to the group.
Their Literature
In this blog I've shared a number of quotes from SA books, and there have been countless other ideas I've read that have made an impression and await the right circumstance to share. There are three SA books that I have the greatest respect for: the Step Into Action books (about how to work the 12 steps), the White Book (which is white...and more generally about the 12 SA steps), and the Big Book (which is big...and about Alcoholics Anonymous). Besides the creative names--which I believe continues to the other anonymous programs (I think Narcotics Anonymous has a Green Book?)--these books are written by recovered addicts and feature a tried-and-true approach. My biggest complaint is the lack of clarity in exactly who God is and how He works. All the books know is that He is there and He is willing to help, but the ARP manual has a more doctrinally sound approach. Luckily, both of these programs can--and probably should--be used together.
Their Schedule/Support Group Size
In my area the ARP group meets once a week and has around 8-12 people who come. The SA group meets around 7 times a week and has around 20-25 people who come to the main meeting (4-8 in some of the smaller meetings). I have no idea if this is a representative difference for everywhere.
Their Perspective
While I kinda complained about their lack of understanding of God in the literature section, I almost view that as a strength in certain ways. Recovery from this addiction is a miracle. And I don't say that lightly. Several times in the Big Book it talks about how certain alcoholics were given up by professionals in the medical field as hopeless cases, only to find complete sobriety through AA. Even without the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, God answered their sincere prayers and whole-hearted reliance on him. The question that occurred to me is, which is better: to receive three-quarters of the truth and to cleave to all of it, or to receive the whole truth but only accept half of it? I'm humbled to see the amazing effectiveness of the atonement in people's lives...especially people who don't have the solidity of the Church, the restored gospel, and the priesthood.
Their Heritage/Connection with AA
When I read the stories of the anonymous programs' origins, it makes me think that they're inspired. At the very least, the fact that the Church based their program directly off the AA program clearly shows that they qualify as "virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy." The lines between the programs aren't clearly defined--this isn't a "from the people who brought you AA." However, from my experience, SA has close ties with AA. My sponsor is involved in AA as well as SA, and I view that as a great positive.
I view this post as an endorsement of a solid program that has a lot to offer members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It's teachings are vague at worst and extremely in-tune with the gospel at best. The fellowship, literature, and meetings are exactly what I need to overcome this addiction, and I challenge anyone who reads this post but is unfamiliar with SA to give them a chance. You just might end up writing a post that makes people question whether or not you're being paid by them too.
No comments:
Post a Comment