Only Eating "Glutton-Free" Food: Addiction as an Allergy

As an English teacher, I see a lot of misspelled words that give me a laugh: one student wrote "we were great friends from the gecko." Another wrote, "I was defiantly grateful to get the job." Finally, one used the term "glutton-free bread." I'll admit that part of me wanted to write a comment in the margin asking if that's the kind of bread that prevents you from eating too much (but I didn't). What they meant to say was "gluten-free bread"--however, I think there's an interesting connection between addiction (like gluttony) and how it often affects us like an allergy (like gluten intolerance).

Gluten-Free Bread doesn't have any gluten. Glutton-Free Bread keeps you from being a glutton. It does that by monitoring your consumption (with audio and video), and blowing up if you overeat.

For people with gluten sensitivity, any ingestion of gluten can cause terrible side-effects: "Symptoms include bloating, abdominal discomfort or pain, diarrhea, constipation, muscular disturbances, headaches, migraines, severe acne, fatigue, and bone or joint pain." One person that I know with Celiac's Disease will eat one goldfish cracker and throw up for hours. In other words, a relatively insignificant input has a disproportionately extreme outcome.

The same thing is true for addicts. I've especially noticed this as I've become sober for longer than I ever have in the past. A commercial, image, or outfit that used to not bother me at all can now immediately result in a hot face and a quickly-beating heart, with hours of obsessive thinking following. I'm sure most people don't even notice or aren't even bothered.

Note: I'm not defending lust--not only was it the addict's actions that caused this "allergy" in the first place, but it's their burden to be on the guard against triggers like this. Also, just because the reaction is involuntary, that doesn't mean we're justified in what we do after the initial reaction.

Just like there are a myriad of symptoms a person may experience after eating gluten, there are a ton of reactions after indulging in an addiction. I've mentioned hot face, quickly-beating heart, and obsessive thinking, but there's also guilt, shame, and a desire to self-medicate with other addictions. There's a feeling of hopelessness and a lack of motivation to fulfill responsibilities. There's irritability, lack of closeness with loved ones, depression, anger, unwillingness to communicate, and apathy. And an addict doesn't have to have binged on the hardest porn for hours to become negatively affected--a relatively small trigger after a long period of abstinence can cause me to be unmotivated to help with household chores, unkind in communication with my wife and kids, and closed-off in attitude.

An important thing to recognize is that addicts have this reaction whether we want to or not. In the beginning years of my addiction I would basically tell myself, "I'm not going to let this affect me. I'll just indulge in this, then go about my merry way trying to be a good member of the church." Then I'd find myself doubled over with all kinds of spiritual side-effects, wondering why I couldn't separate the two. An allergy doesn't care if you've promised yourself you won't have a reaction this time. It doesn't care if you're eating your only child's (gluten-rich) wedding cake, or if you promise it's the last cheesecake ever. You will have a reaction. It's not a matter of self-control.

So there are symptoms. Still, just like food allergies, it can be hard to determine what food caused which symptom. I remember my sister-in-law trying a number of different diets and talking with several doctors before discovering the cause of her ailment. Rather than just accepting that she was a certain way, she took a lot of time and spent a lot of energy and self-control to figure it out. Similarly, without a willingness to work hard and make serious sacrifices, an addict can find themselves blaming their unhappiness on anything and anyone, or even resigning themselves to the idea that life will never be a happy place for them.

Some of us have tried for years to determine the nature of the addiction...and the search has often born a striking resemblance to insanity. Would you expect someone who's writhing in pain because they ate a certain white berry to say, "this has happened the last hundred times I've tried it, but I was hoping that this time would be different." Or "it's been a month since I ate one of these--I was hoping I'd have gotten over it by now." You don't just "get over" an allergy in a matter of months, if ever!

Just like people with gluten sensitivity, there is a cure. The cure is to not eat any gluten again, ever. (And "gluten/glutton" for me is lust/porn/sex outside marriage, which makes sex within marriage tricky...but that's a whole 'nuther post). At first no gluten kind of sucks, but then you remember how terrible you felt before, you find other gluten-free recipes that you come to love, and you find other people who have gone through the same withdrawals and testify how much happier they are now. The difference is that overcoming a sexual addiction comes with the added benefit (/cost) of overcoming many other character flaws...which, as opposed to avoiding gluten, will have significance that is eternal rather than internal.